A painful moment, a break, a squeeze, and cracking precedes moments of pleasure, transformation, and even pure bliss.
A glow stick must first be broken, snapped in half and shaken, before it emits any light.
A butterfly squeezes its way through the chrysalis. The tight push is necessary so that fluid from the thorax can be pushed into its wings. Flight, new form and function are a complete transformation in the once caterpillar.
Reptiles, insects, amphibians, fish, and birds emerge into the world through ruptured shells.
Snakes and crustaceans break through and molt their skin and shells to accommodate for new growth.
Birth can be an incredibly painful experience, and out of the pain, we are greeted with perfect new life.
We end relationships, causing us pain. Sometimes it’s just the new routine, a new normal that we must endure the pain of this change. Other times, we narrowly escape, forcing our way through a tight tunnel made of thorns, cacti, rough edges, and uncertainty to find our freedom. When we are able to let go of relationships that no longer serve us, it opens us up to new love and new opportunities.
When a seed is planted in the dark, it must crack open before a seedling can reach into the light.
A destructive storm clears out and reveals a rainbow.
Death occurs everywhere in nature so that new life can be created, in a brand new way. For example, dead leaves falling from the trees provide nutrients to the ever-growing forest.
In your life, I know you can recall at least three instances where you felt a rupture, a cracking, and experienced tremendous pain. For one, you’re still here! And two, I am almost certain you can find where it turned into something beautiful because of the new opening. If you can’t, I challenge you to find one thing you are grateful for because of that painful moment.
I can think of so many moments in my life where the beauty far outweighed the pain of my experiences:
My labor and birth were excruciating. I felt like it would never end. Then, when I was able to hold my daughter in my arms, my whole world shifted. I truly felt love and purpose in my life. I was obsessed with her! I couldn’t sleep much in the hospital because I felt like I’d miss something. I stared at her in her see-through crib and spent as much time as possible with her on my bare chest.
When my father died, I felt my world, my normal, flip upside-down. The crisis created crystal clear clarity around the situation with my relationship at the time. I was able to leave without looking back. I witnessed my own strength through my “rebirth”.
I am no stranger to the pain of having a few disrespecting bosses in my life, one even sexually harassed me and nothing was done about it, so I left a great paying job for my integrity. Other jobs, I tried staying afloat by kicking into people-pleasing mode. After enough stress and physical pain manifesting in my body, I put myself into massage school, and am now able to work for myself. At times it can be scary, but I love my freedom!
While writing this, I can conjure up about twenty more instances where pure rapture and ecstasy followed a breaking point.
I find gratitude in the most difficult challenges and can transform a “death” into brand new life. These moments of rupture are opportunities to climb out of my shell, squeeze through the chrysalis, and shed what no longer serves me so I can become the most evolved version of myself.
The following steps have been a tremendous help in my life, especially when I need help looking up and forward instead of staying stuck in a dark pit:
- Take SIX deep breaths. This calms your mind and body, allowing room for clarity to find your next best step. It also helps lower blood pressure and reduces stressful thoughts.
- Remind yourself of instances in your life that were challenging and how you’ve overcome those difficult times. I bet in remembering them, the pain will seem less intense than it was in the moment. You made it!
- Express gratitude for the challenges you’re facing. Knowing it’s going to help create a stronger, more refined version of yourself.
- Look at where you want to go, instead of worrying about what could go wrong. What you focus on grows, and worrying is just praying for what you don’t want.
- Forgive yourself and anyone else involved in this painful challenge. Resentment clogs your heart space and limits your powerful energy to transform this experience into something beautiful. Forgiveness lightens the load, and makes room to manifest something great!
- Never give up! It hurts more to quit.
- Write your goals for the future in PRESENT tense. Visualize them and believe in the good things coming your way.
- Be gentle with yourself. Don’t worry about being perfect, just keep moving and show yourself love and grace during this transition.
Reminding yourself that life is made of cycles of rupture and rapture can help keep you grounded. You are never alone, and practicing the steps listed will help to guide you out of the darkness and into a rainbow of infinite possibility!